Non-resident parenting at it's best: Tip 4 - Farewell to Fear

When people use fear to influence others, it can work ... for a bit ... but eventually, fear turns into contempt and if someone holds you in contempt, you have no chance of exerting any meaningful influence over that person. Things generally work out badly for all bullies/tyrants in the end and it's not so dissimilar with parenting.

Whatever style of parenting you delivered prior to your separation, you must ensure that if you're a non-resident parent, you exercise a parenting style which does NOT include fear in its toolbox. This means avoiding all forms of physical punishment and emotional intimidation.

There are a number of reasons why ditching the fear factor is crucial for non-resident parents

1) Given the power the resident parent has, if your children fear you as the non-resident parent and they're reserved about coming to see you, you're contact with them is in serious danger, even if a firm contact order has been agreed. 

2) Fear shuts down creative thinking and over a long period of time, it prevents your children from being the best they can be.

3) Fearful children appear respectful when they're younger but all children eventually grow up and when they get bigger, their fear will turn into contempt. It's not a question of 'if', it's just a question of 'when'. 

4) Parenting with fear = lazy parenting! 

It takes more brain power as a parent to nurture your children if you discard fear and physical punishment from your toolbox. Of course it's just so much easier in the heat of the moment to shout and intimidate or worse - but easier is often not better and in all walks of life, the lazy approach never leads to success.  

Thanks for reading

I help people to achieve more in their lives by developing their influence, resilience and productivity. 

Call me - 0121 420 3457 / 07760 444 946

Email me - enquiries@impactlife.co.uk

Connect with me on Linkedin - http://www.linkedin.com/in/andrewpain

Like me on Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/ImpactLifeUK

Follow me on twitter - www.twitter.com/andrewpain1974
Check out my website - www.impactlife.co.uk