When I separated from my ex-wife, I vowed never to take part in 'post-split competitive parenting' (ie looking for opportunities to outdo the other parent by 'over-treating' your kids during contact time)
- At worst, it eventually screws up your kids. At best, they become spoilt, playing one parent off against the other.
- In the long term, non-resident parents will lose if they try to compete against the resident parent so why start a battle which you're destined to lose?
- Kids prefer quality time over gifts and treats (quality time means putting yourself in their shoes and being focussed on them, including helping them with homework, teaching them how to wash up and enjoying the mundane things in life)
1) Focus on being a consistent, firm and positive parent who is 'present' in body and mind with their children.
2) Forget about getting one over on your ex ... even if you get revenge somehow, it's never that sweet anyway!
Thanks for reading
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People don't realise just how aware children are, they rarely give them the credit they deserve. When a parent tries to get one over on the other parent, the children see that and respect them a little less.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comment - children certainly do pick up on the things we think they can't see.
ReplyDelete