Business Development Tip 10 - Take care with your 'BUT'

                                                NOT THAT KIND OF A BUTT!  

'BUT' is a powerful word and depending on how it is used, it can motivate people in difficult times, and it can create havoc, escalating mild disagreements into full-scale arguments. If you want to take care with your 'but', consider the 3 following tips. 

1) DO use 'but' when you give someone some bad news, but you want to ensure a positive outcome. 

"Jack, Your figures are very low this month, but I am pleased that you are working hard and I can see you are putting in some important groundwork" 

In this context, the word 'but' partially deletes the first part of the statement (the negative bit) so that the second part of the statement is what is emphasised and remembered by Jack. Even though Jack's figures are low, he is encouraged because of where 'but' appears in the statement.

2) When you give someone bad news, ensure that the negatives are stated before you use the word 'but', rather than after:

"Jack, I am pleased that you are working hard and I can see you are putting in some important groundwork, but your figures are very low"

This isn't so good! The positives are partially deleted by the use of 'but'. Jack's focus is on his low figures and he is more likely to be demoralised rather than encouraged.

3) In disagreement, avoid 'but' at all costs (this includes 'however' which is a variation of 'but'): 

"Yes, but/however"  

“I see your point, but/however" 

“I understand why you say that, but/however"

“I’m sorry you feel like that, but/however”

All of the above are a variation on.. "I'm keen to make my point, I wish you'd stop being so dogmatic".

The receiver perceives your impatience, your refusal to agree and your inability to see things from their perspective. A crucial opportunity to understand the other person is therefore lost which damages your rapport and leads to an unsatisfactory outcome. Try out some of the following alternatives:

"Yes, (pause) have you considered this..."

"I see your point, (pause) I also think that..."

"I understand why you say that, you're right, we are expensive, that's because..."

"I'm sorry you feel like that, (pause) we do offer discounts for customers who purchase over 10K of materials per month from us. Until you've reached that point, I'm not in a position to decrease our rates." 

"I agree that we're expensive, that's because" 

Thanks for reading!

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