Influencing Tip: Using 'some' and 'MOST'

When you want to guide someone else to say "yes" to your course of action, whether it is your child, a colleague or a business prospect, it obviously helps if you know what makes them tick, that you also understand their pains and aims and if it's a business prospect, that you have a product/service which meets what they need/want. Trust and rapport are also crucial … and there are some language tricks which you can use to your advantage.

One of my favourites is some and MOST - check out the example below to see how it works ... 

Example: 

I want my business prospect to purchase a series of short development workshops delivered over a period of time rather than a one-off, full-day workshop because I know he/she will experience better long term results with the former option. So I say ... 

Some of my clients prefer full day workshops as getting people together can be very challenging, but MOST of my clients prefer regular and concise 1-2 hour long sessions delivered over a number of weeks because they deliver better long term results and offer better value.

In this scenario, I'm still offering choice and will ultimately respect my prospect's wishes, but I'm using the word "MOST" to emphasise that the best long term option is the regular and concise 1-2 hour sessions.

As people, we generally prefer to go with what MOST people do and in business, even charismatic buyers who are open to risk, still prefer to take risks with a mass market appeal, so they're more likely to opt for what MOST people will do rather than what some people do. By putting your verbal emphasis on the word "MOST" and supporting it with valid reasons, you lead the other person to the logical and natural conclusion that they should opt for what MOST people do. 

In what situations should we avoid using this language trick? 

A) When your business prospect is clearly set on the option that some people do, a small language trick is unlikely to change this. In this scenario, it's better to find out the reasons behind your prospects' thinking and honour their wishes.

B) When the option for MOST lacks credibility, this language trick will not be enough to influence your prospect. For example, could you imagine trying to encourage your child to eat more healthily with:

Some children prefer eating chocolate ice creams, but MOST children prefer eating carrots

This statement clearly lacks credibility and as a result, it will carry no influence! 

Available now on iTunes & Amazon: The Impact Code - Unlocking Resilience, Productivity & Influence  http://goo.gl/YAynef

Thanks for reading

I help people to achieve more by developing their resilience, influence and productivity: 

Call me - 0121 420 3457 / 07760 444 946

Email me - enquiries@impactlife.co.uk

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Time Management Tip 6: Knowing when to quit

"Never ever give up" is a phrase I often hear from sales coaches, motivational speakers and business consultants. Clearly, it's comforting to believe that if we just keep going, things will come good in the end. But is this really the best advice for all situations?

Such mantras may ensure plenty of 'likes' on social media, but other than kicking bad habits, are there times when quitting is actually the best option? On a personal note, I can vouch for the fact that by not quitting in certain situations, I've made some of the worst decisions in my life and wasted a colossal amount of time in the process.

Consider the following hypothetical examples:

A) A destructive relationship where both or one of the partners is desperate for the other person to change, whether it's that the other person should become more loving or in love, or become less violent, or drink less, becomes less of a workaholic or more courageous. Sadly, after countless marriage guidance sessions, continual rows, break ups and make ups, the relationship is still detrimental to the well-being of one or both of the partners ... Never ever give up? I don't think so!

B) Someone who is in their late 20s and who has given up everything to pursue a career in acting but in spite of excelling at drama school, the sacrifices made, terrible personal finances, years of hope followed by gloom, not to mention a few lower end productions, he/she just can't seem to get the lucky break ... Never ever give up? I don't think so.

C) A business in free-fall who's owner clings to old ideas and methods, even though culture has moved on and the service/product is out of date and out of time ... Never ever give up? What about wake up and smell the coffee!

Of course, resilience and perseverance are crucial to success in most things, but to be at your most productive and to make the best of the opportunities that life has to offer, it's crucial that you know when to park, when to quit, when to change course and when to persevere. There's no shame in taking any of these options depending on the circumstances.

Parking: It's clear that the timing is not right for you to persevere with whatever it is you're trying to achieve. By parking it, you don't completely abandon it, but you move forward with other priorities until the timing is better.

Quitting: It's clear that what you're trying to achieve is not going to work. Learn what you can from the set-back, be grateful for the lesson and move on. This may involve 'letting go' of something which was important to you ... some people call it quitting, but I call it 'letting go' and in certain situations, it's a very powerful and productive thing to do.

Changing course: It's clear you need to alter your expectations and make certain tweaks to what you're trying to achieve - it's called resourcefulness and is a highly prized attribute, although it could be construed by some people to be quitting. Einstein was apparently ok with changing course ... "the definition of madness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

Perseverance: It's clear that with more effort and time, you could achieve what you want. You may need to make a few tweaks along the way but your focus remains fixed on your original goal. In some rare cases, you may decide to persevere whilst knowing you may not get what you want, but you stick at it anyway because you know it's the right thing to do ... Churchill and World War II springs to mind!

I may not get as many likes on social media for ditching the 'never ever ever give up' mantra, but I'm ok with that. My personal mantra, presumably influenced from the world of orienteering, comes in 3 connecting parts:

1) ALWAYS MOVE FORWARD WITH A FEW PLANS UP YOUR SLEEVE. 

2) CHANGE COURSE WHEN IT'S WISE TO DO SO AND AVOID GOING ROUND IN CIRCLES. 

3) KEEP YOUR EYES FORWARDS - YOU CAN LEARN FROM THE PAST BUT DON'T DWELL ON IT OR REGRET IT.


Available now on iTunes & Amazon: The Impact Code - Unlocking Resilience, Productivity & Influence http://goo.gl/tpdlIC
 
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Call me - 0121 420 3457 / 07760 444 946

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Get smart with your time, get CLOCKWISE

- The average manager is interrupted every 8 minutes.

- On average,  professional employees spend 80% of their working day on things which have "little value" or "no value".

- The average professional spends less than 2 minutes per day in meaningful conversation with their spouse or significant other.  

In spite of the advances in technology and the improvements in time management awareness, (i.e. most of us now know to split the bigger tasks into smaller tasks, to prioritise, goal-set and do the undesirable stuff first) the fact remains, that for most of us, effective time management is as elusive as ever.

Given the global economic climate as well as a 24/7 hour culture, the question of how to develop people so that they produce more in terms of quantity and quality, is a critical success factor for organisations who wish to thrive, but is there a resource which sheds fresh insight on how to do it?

Using 5 great principles of time management, Clockwise will improve your habits and systems so you get more things done and so you get the important things done.

1) Time Planning: Develop systems which keep you on-track with your immediate and long term tasks.

2) Prioritising: Learn how to prioritise effectively.

3) Decisiveness: Overcome the habit of procrastination and nurture a decisive mind.

4) Delegation: Understand how to delegate wisely so you can offload tasks whilst developing others.

5) Boundaries: Know how to establish, communicate and adhere to personal boundaries.

When your resources are stretched, your diary is overloaded and the pressure for results is higher than ever, you can't physically make more time, but you can get Clockwise.

Available for free download on my linked profile and website (details below)

Thanks for reading

I help businesses become more profitable by developing their people: 

Call me - 0121 420 3457 / 07760 444 946

Email me - enquiries@impactlife.co.uk

Connect with me on Linkedin - http://www.linkedin.com/in/andrewpain

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Business Development Tip: Matchmaking a most important union

I recently worked with an organisation, who's sales and marketing teams function as separate and isolated units. Whilst the company team mission statement is all about collaborative working, joint aims and the normal jargon you tend to associate with mission statements, the reality is very different. The fact is that the marketing department is deeply possessive of their work, viewing the sales team as nothing more than glorified administrative assistants, whilst the sales teams views the marketing department with contempt and suspicion.

The result?

The delivery of a marketing strategy, which is totally out of synch with the delivery of the sales strategy.

So what?

The clients they serve receive a message one week from the salesperson they're dealing with, only to receive something entirely different from the marketing department the following week. At it's worst, it's irritating and confusing for the client. At it's best, by allowing marketing and sales to work separately, the organisation in question does not make the most of it's potential sales revenue.

The best scenario is that:  

1) Marketing departments recognise that they exist to serve the needs of the sales departments.

2) Both units need to work as one, without mutual contempt or suspicion and with the greatest of respect for each other's skills.

3) Because it's normally the salespeople who have direct contact with the prospects, they can offer invaluable insight to their marketing departments as to what would work best and how to create targeted and effective campaigns. For example, winning over a 'controller' buying personality requires a different approach from winning over a 'follower' buying personality and unless you have a sales team who can spot the difference and communicate that with marketing, you'll fail to deliver campaigns which are shaped to the unique needs of your buyers. 

Tip (for organisations large enough to have sales and marketing departments!):

Stop your sales and marketing departments from living the carefree, single life. Introduce them to one another and encourage them to get together. Get them to spend time with each other, to talk to each other, to trust and like each other ... and then step back and enjoy the incredible power of a happy union between sales and marketing.

Thanks for reading

I help businesses become more profitable by developing their people: 

Call me - 0121 420 3457 / 07760 444 946

Email me - enquiries@impactlife.co.uk

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Why Lord Sugar was wrong to fire Alex

So he was irritating, he had incredible eyebrows, he was somewhat arrogant and demonstrated poor social skills ...  that said, I believe Alex was the best of the candidates in The Apprentice because whether you liked him or loathed him, he was the only person in the competition to show that he can produce brilliant ideas and turn them into reality.

Week 1 - The flat-pack task:

It was Alex who came up with the idea of a chair, whose back could slide down in order to make a coffee table. He sketched it, he persuaded the others to back it, he designed the mechanics and he oversaw it's production. Lord Sugar stated that it was the best product ever produced on The Apprentice and on this task alone, Alex should have made the final.

Week 9 - The ready meal task:

As project manager, Alex unfortunately allowed himself to be talked into backing a daft idea ('deadly dinners') by the smooth and persuasive Miles. But Alex's original idea of the pop-ty-ping character who would be the icon for various international dishes was excellent, and he had already sketched it out.

As well has his innovative ability, you cannot question Alex's commitment to the cause as a team player. I can't think that any of the other lads would have so willingly taken on the role of Herbert the pervert as Alex did in the internet dating task, or would they have so passionately played the role of the Sergeant Major in the away-day task.

Lord Sugar's reasoning for firing Alex was that because he'd had moved around several business ideas prior to participating in The Apprentice, he lacked focus and should learn to settle on one thing.  Furthermore, Alex had failed to go with his gut instinct on the ready meal task. But a lack of focus and a failure to go with your intuition can easily be worked on and improved, particularly for someone in their early 20s. What cannot be taught so easily is the ability to design brilliant concepts and turn them into reality.

Question - So who should have been fired the week that Alex got the boot?      

Answer - Miles 

Miles's composure in the boardroom put him head and shoulders above the others and was perhaps a reflection of his extra years of experience (at 39, he was the oldest candidate in the process). But Miles showed no ability to design new concepts and his 'deadly dinners' idea in the ready meal task showed a complete misunderstanding of his target market (the parents). In this task, he was fully responsible for his team's loss and should have been fired.

Conclusions:

1) It's reassuring to see someone of Lord Sugar's reputation make the wrong decision, but then it's not the first time I suppose. It was of course Lord Sugar who as the Chairman of Tottenham Hotspur and presented with the opportunity of signing Dennis Bergkamp (one of the most gifted footballers ever to have graced the premier league), balked at the £7.5M price tag, declaring he would not pay so much for Dennis 'Kick-a-ball' Bergkamp. So Bergkamp went to their arch rivals Arsenal and gave them a decade of majestic football and numerous trophies along the way.

2) If it was my £250,000, I'd rather pass on the smooth operators and invest it in someone with innovative ability, even if that person was a bit arrogant, slightly odd and had bushy eyebrows!

Thanks for reading

I help businesses become more profitable by developing their people: 

Call me - 0121 420 3457 / 07760 444 946

Email me - enquiries@impactlife.co.uk

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Business Development: When silence is golden

"If you've got nothing intelligent to say, don't say ANYTHING!" 

These were the words of my ex girlfriend many years ago, just before meeting her dad for the first time.

Whilst I was someone who grew up in a house where any silence was quickly filled with chit-chat, it didn't take long to master this skill when meeting her parents. Her dad could be prickly at the best of times and he did not suffer fools gladly ... but those words have stayed with me over the years and helped me in business and personal dealings.

Example 1:

As a consistent blogger, I've suffered writer's block on a few occasions. To be fair to me, it's usually been down to busyness at work or home but when I get it, I tend to write pretty average articles which I avoid posting because at the very least, they don't offer anything fresh. Thankfully I know, that "if you've got nothing intelligent to say, don't say ANYTHING!" 

Example 2:

Have you ever been in a meeting with people you wanted to impress and you felt desperate to contribute something to the conversation, but you just couldn't think of anything valuable to add? I certainly have but thankfully, I've learned that in those situations, it's better to enjoy the listening bit because "if you've got nothing intelligent to say, don't say ANYTHING!"

Tip 1:

Make peace with 'awkward' silences. They're only awkward if you feel awkward.

Tip 2:

When you want to say something at presentations/meetings, be clear that what you have to share is of genuine value and contributes positively to the conversation, rather than a needy and yet very human desire to have your voice heard and stand out.

Tip 3: 

Ir you're a blogger/writer and you've got writers block, take a break and get out a bit more. The creativity will return in the end!

Thanks for reading

I help people to achieve more by developing their resilience, influence and productivity: 

Call me - 0121 420 3457 / 07760 444 946

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Time Management Tip 5: Pick your battles

"Wise generals pick their battles and live long lives. Valiant warriors fight all the battles they face and die young"

Too many people waste time by getting bogged down in battles which they can't possibly win.

Some people get the timing wrong when they go to battle whilst others are ill-prepared for the dangers that lie ahead. For some people, the odds were stacked against them from the start, something they knew but chose to ignore. Whatever the reason, it's easy to get bogged down in a stalemate or no-win situation where finding a way out can seem almost impossible.

If you want to mange your time, you must learn to pick your battles.

Example:

You're determined to make your fellow board members see sense. Their inability to move in the direction you want is incredibly frustrating and you believe their reticence is due to a fear of change and sheer stubbornness, rather than logical reasoning.

In this example, it's all to easy to push your agenda because you believe you're right and you're seeing the bigger picture. But if the other people aren't budging, not only could you waste time going round in circles as you try to make them see sense, the breakdown in rapport will cost you even more time later down the line. When you need to confront, disagree with, or influence other people, consider the following tips:

1) Fight the important battles. Don't waste your time and resources on the trivial ones. In each case, ask yourself:

- Is this really worth it?
- Is this about a positive long term outcome, or about me getting my own way and proving I'm right?
- How much is my ego dictating my actions?

2) Ensure the timing is right for battle. Any military leader would tell you that it's not just about the quality of your tactics, the size of your army or the quality of your weaponry - the role of timing is critical in determining whether a battle is won or lost. Sometimes it really is best to leave well alone whilst keeping half an eye on the situation. Ask yourself:

- What's the best and worst that could happen if I do nothing versus if I do something?
- If I leave alone for now and revisit the issue in a week's time, what might have changed?

3) Fight the battles you can win. Why waste your energy on something you know you will lose? Sometimes you simply need to make peace with the things you can't change. In the situations where you know you're going to lose but passionately believe that you have no option but to put up a fight, ask yourself:

- What do I gain from going to war? (if the answer is ...  "I'll feel better about it" - it's not a very compelling answer!)
- What are the consequences of the loss for me? Are they genuinely worth it? Can I handle them?

4) Opt for Win/Win. When you plan an approach which offers a win/win situation, you're less likely to get bogged down and war will most likely be averted (which means no one gets hurt!). Developing a win/win solution will mean ditching your ego and thinking around the issue so you can put the other person's needs on a par with your own.

5) Avoid an aggressive approach. Going to battle in business is different to going to battle in the military sense for many reasons. One of them is that in business, the less aggressively you begin proceedings, the more likely it is that you'll get what you want. 

When people are on the receiving end of aggression, they defend (which means their barriers go up and they're not listening any more), or they do submit (begrudgingly), something which negatively affects their morale and could affect their commitment.

If the other person defends you're likely to get bogged down in a war of attrition and if the other person submits begrudgingly, you haven't won, even if on this occasion you got your way!

Thanks for reading

I help businesses become more profitable by developing their people: 

Call me - 0121 420 3457 / 07760 444 946

Email me - enquiries@impactlife.co.uk

Connect with me on Linkedin - http://www.linkedin.com/in/andrewpain

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